When a woman made the decision to go out to dinner with her husband at a restaurant one evening, she had no idea what were going to happen during the course of the evening. At first, the bartender did not pay attention to her presence and instead directed all of her concerns over the cuisine to her husband who was present. Afterwards, when the woman left a gratuity for the barman, the barman would only express gratitude to the woman’s husband.
On March 17, 2022, a female contributor who wished to remain anonymous contributed to the “AITA” thread on Reddit in order to write her narrative. The woman divulged information regarding her date night with her spouse, indicating that the evening came to an end in a manner that was entirely dissimilar to what she had anticipated before the evening.
One evening, the woman and her husband discovered that they were not passionate about cooking, so she suggested that they go to the nearby restaurant for a beer and a speedy dinner. Her spouse, who was a frequent customer at the restaurant and went there with a friend around once a week, concurred with her decision.
After informing her husband that she had cash on hand, the woman stated that she would pay the amount. As soon as the couple arrived at the restaurant, they went straight to the bar and grabbed their seats.
“My husband told me, ‘We have to make sure to tip her nice because she’s the new barmaid on the day me and pal go [sic]’, the woman said of her chat with her husband. “We have to make sure to tip her good because she’s the new barmaid.”
According to his point of view, they never had empty glasses, and the dinners they participated in were pleasurable.
The sentiment struck a chord with OP because she additionally worked in a customer service position that was based on tips. She assured her spouse that she would remember that, and there were no problems with her statement.
Dinner and a couple of beers were ordered by the couple while they were staying at the establishment. The barman did not appear to be impolite, but it appeared as though he was oblivious to the presence of the woman. All of her questions on the food were aimed primarily at the husband, and she did not inquire about whether or not he required a box until his plate was almost completely empty, while the woman’s plate was still nearly half filled.
When the woman approached the man, she was met with a deadpan countenance and a monotone demeanour, whilst the husband was greeted with large smiles and laughter. “I still answered politely even if [the barman] didn’t technically ask me a question,” remembered the female customer.
In addition to paying the bill, which was around sixty dollars, the woman also left a gratuity of thirty dollars, all of which was paid in cash. A woman who was accustomed to working for tips herself and who took into consideration the fact that her husband was a frequent customer made the decision to give a big tip despite the fact that the bartender’s behaviour was rather off-putting. She admitted that, despite the fact that she experienced unusual vibes, she always had a drink on her, and the meal that she prepared was of high quality.
However, only a few moments after she had withdrawn the money, the barmaid turned her back on the woman and instead conveyed her thanks solely to the husband, saying, “[Thank] you so much for doing that! It was such a pleasant experience! The woman was left feeling significantly irritated as a result of this encounter.
Despite the fact that the back of the bartender’s head was only ten inches away from her face, the woman boldly proclaimed, “I paid the tab, and I tipped you.” We are grateful to you. Her “you’re welcome” held a clear and deliberate tone of sarcasm throughout its entirety. She calmly walked away without ever turning her head to look in her direction, despite the fact that the woman was absolutely confident that the barman had heard her talk. After having this conversation, the couple dashed out of the restaurant without further delay.
When the woman’s husband was driving her home, he made the statement that the woman’s comment was inappropriate.
Due to the fact that he was a frequent customer of the institution, he was humiliated by her conduct. Even though he was typically wonderful, the husband seemed to be completely unaware of any harshness that the barman may have displayed. According to his point of view, they never had empty glasses, and the dinners they participated in were pleasurable.
He was under the impression that the bartender’s presumption that he paid could be the reason for the distinction in treatment.
Technically speaking, he was right; but, the woman, drawing from her experience working in a setting that was like to the one he was describing, emphasised the significance of treating everyone equally, not just the person who was presumed to be the payer or the tipper.
“AITA for telling the barmaid that I paid and tipped after she only thanked my husband?” the woman asked, expressing her uncertainty as to whether or not these actions were appropriate.
On her Reddit account, the woman received a significant amount of support, with the majority of individuals recognising her as a “NTA.” The feeling that the barman had been impolite to the original poster was shared by a number of users, who also questioned whether or not the tip was appropriate. The possibility that the barman was flirting with OP’s spouse was even brought up by some others.
Regarding this story, what are your ideas and opinions? What are your thoughts on the behaviour of the barman towards the woman? Do you think it was problematic, or do you think the woman was perhaps taking things too seriously? If you had been treated in the same manner, would you have left a tip for the barman that was equal to or greater than fifty percent of your total bill?