A blonde decides she’s tired of people assuming she’s not smart, so she vows to prove everyone wrong by getting a prestigious job. After some soul-searching, she decides to become a rocket scientist. She walks into NASA and says, “Hi!
I’d like to apply for a job as a rocket scientist!”
The receptionist, a bit surprised, tries to be polite. “Do you have a background in aerospace engineering?”
She smiles confidently. “Nope!
But I watched Apollo 13 three times, and I built a baking soda volcano in 8th grade.”
The receptionist, trying to suppress a laugh, says, “Well, maybe you’d like to take our basic aptitude test?”
“Bring it on,” the blonde says, pulling out a sparkly pen. She sits down for the test. An hour later, the examiner comes out looking confused.
“Um… Miss, you answered every question with ‘C’.”
She beams. “Exactly! Because C stands for Correct!”
They gently tell her she didn’t pass the test, and she storms out, furious.
Determined not to give up, she decides to prove her intelligence in another way. She opens up her own blonde detective agency. Her slogan?
“We find stuff… eventually.”
Her first client walks in, saying his wife’s cat has gone missing. The blonde detective nods seriously, puts on sunglasses, and says, “This is clearly a case of… feline evasion.”
She sets out, questioning squirrels, interviewing mailmen, and even interrogating a goldfish she’s convinced is hiding something. Two weeks later, she comes back with a hamster and says, “Your cat has… changed.
He’s been through a lot.”
The man says, “That’s not my cat.”
She blinks. “But it’s someone’s pet. Case closed!”
Eventually, word spreads, and despite never solving a single case, her business becomes wildly successful — because every time she fails, she offers a free glitter pen and a motivational quote like, “Even the moon has craters!”
And to this day, the blonde rocket scientist-turned-detective is a millionaire with her own reality show: “CSI: Kind of Trying”.
A blonde woman was driving about two hours outside of San Diego
A blonde woman was driving about two hours outside of San Diego when she noticed a man waving her down on the side of the road. His truck had broken down, and as she pulled over, he approached her car. “Are you heading to San Diego?” he asked.
“Sure am!” she replied. “Do you need a ride?”
“Not for me,” the man said. “I’ll be here fixing my truck for a while.
But I have two chimpanzees in the back, and they need to get to the San Diego Zoo. They’re already stressed, and I don’t want them stuck on the road all day. Would you mind taking them for me?
I’ll even give you $200 for the trouble.”
“Of course!” the blonde said cheerfully. The man helped secure the two chimpanzees in her back seat, made sure they were comfortable, and sent them on their way. Several hours later, as he finally made it into San Diego, the truck driver was stunned by what he saw—there was the blonde, walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, while a crowd gathered around, laughing and snapping pictures.
Slamming on his brakes, he jumped out of his truck and ran up to her. “What on earth are you doing?” he exclaimed. “I gave you $200 to take them to the zoo!”
“I did take them to the zoo,” she said with a smile.
“But we had some money left over, so now we’re headed to SeaWorld!”