Actor Bruce Willis’ wife, Emma Hemming Willis, recently shared her honest thoughts about the holidays while living with a loved one with dementia. Back in 2022, Bruce’s family went public with the news that he was diagnosed with dementia and would be stepping away from his acting career. Three years later, Emma’s life has changed a lot, and now she’s sharing her struggles as well as some helpful advice for anyone else in her situation.
On her blog, she wrote a post called “The Holidays Look Different Now.” She starts the post by sharing, “Traditions that once felt somewhat effortless require planning- lots of planning. Moments that once brought uncomplicated joy may arrive tangled in a web of grief. I know this because I’m living it.”
Yet, that doesn’t mean the holidays are all full of sorrow. She also shared, “Yet despite that, there can still be meaning. There can still be warmth. There can still be joy. I’ve learned that the holidays don’t disappear when dementia enters your life. They change.”
Emma went on to discuss grief and honestly stated, “It’s okay to grieve.” While Bruce is still very much alive, the type of grieving she’s talking about is grieving what once was. She explained that it’s “the realization that things won’t unfold the way they once did. It belongs to the absence of routines, conversations, or roles that were once so familiar you never imagined them ending.”
For example, she shares the Bruce used to make pancakes on Christmas, but now, she’s the one who will be making the pancakes. She explained, “I find myself, harmlessly, cursing Bruce’s name while wrestling with the holiday lights or taking on tasks that used to be his. Not because I’m mad at him, never that, but because I miss the way he once led the holiday charge. Yes, he taught me well, but I’m still allowed to feel annoyed that this is one more reminder of how things have changed.
She ended the essay by sharing her new reality and how she has learned to cope with the holiday season. She wrote, “So you can grieve what the holidays used to be and make room for new traditions. That’s how I push through. I hold the ache of what dementia has taken from us while we trim the tree and the gratitude that we’re still together celebrating. I hold the memories of Bruce as the man who once carried this season for our family, and I hold the reality of who he is now, with the same love. I hold tears and laughter in the same breath, often in the very same moment.”
Watch the video below for more of Emma’s thoughts about the holidays and how things have changed since Bruce’s diagnosis.