Most parents want to raise a kid with good morals and a hard-working mindset, no matter what background they come from. But, some may argue that if parents have the means to provide a luxurious life, why keep it from their children? My parents always valued living humbly.
I grew up in a modest house. My parents barely gave me anything I asked for. I used to always want to play ballet, but they told me it’s too expensive.
Whenever I wanted to celebrate my birthday, they only got me a cake and one small gift, while all my friends invited me to huge celebrations filled with lots of presents, sweets, and activities. I had to find out how they could afford my school expenses. Even in my teen years, they got me the lowest phone model while all my friends walked around with high-end models.
I even decided to work part-time to earn a little side cash since my parents never gave me an allowance, saying, “You have to make your own money.” I never understood how they enrolled me in such an expensive school but allowed us to live so poorly. I’m now in college and in lots of school debt. I’m barely getting by, so I asked my parents if I could stay with them for a bit, and they agreed.
One night, they went out. I was cleaning around when I saw that one of my dad’s drawers was open. I went to close it, but, instead, reached in.
I found a bunch of documents. Turns out my parents weren’t struggling at all. In fact, they owned multiple properties, had a large savings account, an impressive private investment portfolio, and many other assets.
They’ve been hiding a fortune from me. When they came back, I confronted them about all the money they’ve been hoarding and they simply said, “That’s our money dear, not yours. We wanted to raise you with the belief that you have to earn your money.
Otherwise, you would’ve grown up spoiled like all your friends.” When I asked them why we lived so modestly, they just said, “How do you think rich people stay rich?”
That same night, I packed my bags and left. While they saw me struggling, they had large amounts of money saved that could’ve relieved me from such a financial burden. Is this fair?
Should I forgive them? I need a different perspective. Hailey N.
They only cared about you. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Hailey. Now, you need to understand that your parents raised you modestly because they cared about raising a hard-working woman who made her own money.
They wanted to see you mature faster than all the other kids. If you had everything handed to you on a silver platter, you wouldn’t have grown up with the skills that you have now. They don’t owe you anything.
As a college student about to begin her life, your parents don’t owe you money. It’s just like they said, it’s their money, not yours. Once you find a job, you’ll be able to pay off your debt and continue living your adulthood years.
You can rely on your parents for emotional support and unconditional love, but financially, you need to be independent. Find a friend and build your path. If you still need space from your parents, that’s understandable.
You can ask a friend if you can stay over for a few days until you find a place to rent and get back on your feet. Alternatively, you can go back to your parents and even ask them for advice on what to do next to financially recover from the debt. Giving everything a child wants is a recipe for a spoiled child.
Saying no may result in tantrums and problems, but it raises kids with better independence. Here’s an instance where an entitled child can turn a flight into an uncomfortable experience for others. Source: Brightside