Three men go to hell, and they’re pissed off about it.
“Surely we weren’t that bad?” they ask themselves. “There has to be something we can do to get out of here.”
Satan suddenly appears and says, “Oh, but there is! Withstand ten whippings from my trusty whip here, and you’re free to go. I’ll even let you pick something to cover your back with.”
The men let out a cheer. This wouldn’t be so hard.
The first man steps up and observes his surroundings. Finally, he picks a sturdy looking boulder to place on his back. “Ready,” he says.
Satan raises his whip and yells, “ONE!”
CRACK
The boulder immediately splits in half.
“Aw screw this,” says the first man. “I’ll just stay.”
Satan smirks and asks, “Who’s next?”
The second man steps up and, without picking any protection, gets in position.
“Are you sure about that?” asks Satan, to which the man replies with
“I have trained my mind and body to ignore any unnecessary pain. I need no protection.”
“Whatever you say, pal.” Satan raises his arm and yells, “ONE!”
CRACK
The man slightly flinches, his pain evident, but he remains upright.
Annoyance flashes across Satan’s face. He raises his arm again and shouts, “TWO!”
CRACK
Again, the man remains upright, all the way up to the tenth whipping.
The man gets up, weary but happy. Satan looks furious and says, “Whatever, goodjob. You, third guy, you’re next. What are you picking?”
The third man takes in his surroundings, lays his eyes on his choice and says, “I’m gonna pick the second guy.”
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven.
The angel at the gate tells them, “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner, your way across the bridge to Heaven will be decided.”
The first guy says, “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated thrice.”
The angel gives him an old model pick-up.
The second guy says, “11 years and only once.”
The angel grants him a Mercedes.
The last man says, “20 years and not once, we loved each other with all our hearts.”
The angel is duly impressed, and bestows upon him a gold edition Lamborghini.
The man soon passes the other two men.
Hours later the two men catch up to him at a diner. He’s sitting alone at a table sobbing and muttering to himself.
One of the men approaches him and says, “I know we are dead but it could be much worse. Don’t be upset!”
The guy looks up and says “Don’t be upset?!, 30 minutes ago I passed my wife, and she was riding a skateboard!”