Jealous husband to his wife: Honey, where are you?
Wife: I’m home.
Jealous husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Of course I am sure.
Jealous husband: OK then, turn on the blender.
Wife: Oh, OK! (turns the blender on) reeereereee.
Jealous husband: Oh, fine then, honey. See you later, bye.
Another day, the husband to his wife: Honey, where are you?
Wife: I’m home.
Jealous husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes, I am!
Jealous husband: Turn on the blender again.
Wife: Ohh… (turns on blender) reereereee.
Jealous husband: OK, bye love, see you later.
The next day, the jealous husband decides not to call but instead goes home without any notice. He finds his daughter home alone, and the jealous husband asks her: “Honey, where is your mommy?’
Daughter: Oh, I don’t know, Daddy; she went out and took the blender with her.
Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands.
The first woman says, “Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn’t there!”
“I know!” the next woman says, “Last night my husband said he was going to his brother’s house, but when I called he wasn’t there.”
The third woman says, “I always know where my husband is.”
“Impossible!” both women exclaim, “He has you completely fooled!”
“Oh no,” says the woman. “I’m a widow.”