A married couple had just crawled into bed on night when the phone started to ring.
The man got up to answer it, “How the hell should I know, that’s a thousand miles away!” he exclaimed before slamming down the receiver.
“Who was that?” asked a puzzled wife.
“I don’t have any idea,” said the husband. “Some guy wanted to know if the coast is clear.”
===============================================
The phone bill was exceptionally high.
The man called a family meeting to discuss.
Dad: “This is unacceptable. I don’t use a home phone; I use my work phone.”
Mum: “Me too. I hardly use the home phone. I use my company’s phone.”
Son: “I use my office mobile; I never use the home phone.”
All of them were shocked and together looked at the maid who was patiently listening to them.
Maid: “What? So we all use our work phones. What’s the Big deal???”
===============================================
At dawn the telephone rings.
“Hello, Senor? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house.”
“Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?”
“Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died.”
“My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?”
“Si, that’s the one.”
“Damn! That’s a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?”
“From eating rotten meat.”
“Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?”
“Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of one of the dead horse.”
“Dead horse? What dead horse?”
“The thoroughbred, Mr. Lucky. He died from all that work pulling the water cart.”
“Are you insane? What water cart?”
“The one we used to put out the fire.”
“Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?”
“The one at your house! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.”
“What the…..!!! But there’s electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?”
“For the funeral.” “WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!”
“Your wife’s… She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver.”
SILENCE…
“Ernesto! If you broke that driver YOU’RE FIRED!”
===============================================
A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit.
She instructed her son to use his own phone and pass on an urgent message to daddy, who was at work. After junior had called, he got back to his mother to inform that it was a lady who picked up his dad’s phone the three times that he tried to reach him.
She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work. When he came back, she slapped her husband, leaving him shell-shocked. She slapped him once again. On hearing the commotion, people from the neighbourhood rushed around to know the reason behind it.
The man then asked their son to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called. He said, “The number you are trying to call is not reachable at the moment. Please try again later!”