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A guy meets a childhood pal.

Posted on November 3, 2026

A guy meets a childhood pal.

“What are you doing for yourself these days?”

“I’m a fireman.”

“Oh yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman.”

“Well, if you want some good advice, you’ve got to install in your house a pole that will go to the basement so your kid can practice, ’cause the hardest thing for a fireman is to jump off into space and catch that pole in the middle of the night.”

Ten years later, the two guys happened to meet again.

Fireman asks, “Well, did your son become a fireman?”

“No, but I have two daughters who are “dancers.”

==============================================
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this:
“Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me. Can you please help me and send the fire squad right away?”

“Take it easy! Cats don’t hurt us. Just relax and wait until it leaves.”

“You don’t understand it is going to bite me; it is going to be fatal!”

“Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous. By the way, who is calling?”

“I’m Josephine’s parrot, you idiot! Help me please, help!”

==============================================
A tourist was watching an Indigenous man sending smoke signals.
Everything around him was primitive, except of a latest model fire extinguisher.

“What’s the fire extinguisher for?” the tourist wondered.

“It’s for erasing the misspellings!”

==============================================
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher.
“Pull the pin like a hand grenade,” he explained, “then depress the trigger to release the foam.”

Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.

The instructor hinted, “Like a hand grenade, remember?”

In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin…. and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.

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  • I beat cancer, but not one family member came to watch me ring the bell — then my doctor came after me and told me something that broke my heart. I was 28 when the doctor looked at my test results and said, “It’s cancer.” Until that moment, I’d been worrying about ordinary things. My furniture restoration business was finally making money, I was saving for a bigger workshop, and I’d recently started looking at houses. Suddenly, all those plans seemed very far away. The next fourteen months were harder than anything I’d imagined. My hair fell out in the shower, I spent entire nights feeling sick after chemotherapy, and some mornings, walking from my bedroom to the kitchen left me exhausted. I lost almost twenty pounds. I stopped taking new orders at my shop, and eventually, I had to close it temporarily. Watching something I’d spent five years building slowly fall apart was almost as painful as the treatments themselves. My father, Gordon, was the one person who never made me feel like a burden. He had been a carpenter for almost forty years, and I’d inherited my love of woodworking from him. When I was little, he’d let me sit on a stool in his workshop and hand him tools. By sixteen, I was making furniture of my own. Dad was proud when I opened my business. My mother, Diane, had never been particularly impressed. “You’re too smart to spend your life fixing old chairs,” she once told me. “Why don’t you find something more stable?” My older sister, Kendra, had a college degree, a husband, and two children. My younger brother, Colin, worked in finance. Mom always seemed to have something wonderful to say about their accomplishments. Dad was different. Whenever I finished restoring a piece of furniture, he wanted photographs from every angle. During my treatment, he drove me to appointments, brought me homemade soup, and sat beside my bed when I was too tired to speak. One afternoon, he arrived carrying a little wooden bird he’d carved himself. “Your new roommate,” he announced, setting it on my bedside table. I turned it over in my hands. “Dad, you gave it two different-sized wings.” “Then I suppose you’ll have to teach it to fly straight.” I laughed for the first time in days. He squeezed my shoulder and reminded me that once I recovered, we were going to turn the old barn at our family’s country house into a proper woodworking studio. “You’ll need somewhere to put all those expensive tools you keep buying,” he teased. I held on to that promise through some of my worst nights. Mom visited occasionally, usually bringing groceries and advice about what I should eat. Kendra called when she wasn’t busy with her children, while Colin helped with errands whenever his work schedule allowed. But when I needed someone in the middle of the night, I always called Dad. Once, after a particularly difficult treatment, I called Mom instead. I was crying so hard I could barely explain what was wrong. “Sweetheart, your father was there yesterday, wasn’t he?” she asked. “Yes, but I’m scared, Mom.” “I know, honey, but I have an early morning. Try to get some sleep.” Eventually, I stopped calling her. Six weeks before my final appointment, Dad suddenly stopped visiting. Mom said he had fallen behind on several jobs and needed to catch up. When his phone went straight to voicemail, she explained that he’d broken it. A few days later, she told me he was helping relatives out of state. I kept asking when he would be home. “Willa, you need to concentrate on getting better,” she said impatiently. “Your father knows what he’s doing.” I was too exhausted to argue. I assumed he would return before my final appointment, and I promised myself I’d visit him as soon as I felt stronger. Then, one Thursday morning, Dr. Ellison walked into the examination room wearing a smile I hadn’t seen in fourteen months. “Willa, your latest scans show no evidence of active disease.” I stared at him, afraid I’d misunderstood. “Does that mean it’s gone?” “It means your treatment has worked. We’ll continue monitoring you closely, but today you have every reason to celebrate.” I started crying before he finished speaking. I called Dad first, but his phone was still going straight to voicemail. Then I called Mom. “My scans are clear!” I told her. “They’re having a little bell-ringing ceremony tomorrow. Can you and Dad come?” “Of course, sweetheart. I’ll bring flowers.” Kendra promised to film the ceremony, and Colin offered to drive me home afterward. “Wouldn’t miss it,” Mom said. That evening, I went shopping for the first time in over a year. I bought a pale blue dress that made me feel pretty, even with my hair still growing back in uneven patches. The following morning, I arrived at the hospital twenty minutes early. I kept smoothing my dress and looking toward the elevators, imagining how wonderful it would feel to have everyone standing beside me. At 11:45, my phone vibrated. Mom: “Kendra needs help with the kids. Sorry, sweetheart. See you later.” A minute later, Kendra sent a message. “It’s just a bell, Willa. Don’t make such a big deal out of it.” Colin’s text arrived shortly afterward. “Work’s crazy today. Please don’t make me feel bad.” I stood there staring at the three messages, feeling something inside me sink. I called Mom immediately. “You promised you’d come.” “Willa, you’re healthy now, aren’t you? Can’t you just enjoy that?” “Mom, I’ve been waiting fourteen months for this.” Behind her voice, I heard a familiar laugh. It was Kendra. “Are you at her house?” I asked. “You’re both together?” “Your sister needed help with the children. Please don’t start an argument over this.” Then she hung up. I couldn’t understand how they could find time to spend the morning together but couldn’t spare fifteen minutes for me. April, one of the nurses who’d cared for me throughout treatment, found me standing beside the elevator. “Where’s your family, honey?” I shook my head. “Something came up.” She looked at the flowers I’d bought for my mother to hold and seemed to understand. “Well, you aren’t ringing that bell without an audience.” Ten minutes later, six nurses and doctors had gathered in the hallway. Dr. Ellison appeared carrying a small bunch of daisies from the hospital gift shop. April helped me take my place beneath the bell. I wrapped both hands around the rope and pulled three times. The sound echoed through the hallway as everyone applauded. I cried harder than I had during my final treatment, partly from relief and partly because these people had shown up for me when my own family wouldn’t. After hugging April and thanking everyone, I picked up my flowers and headed toward the entrance. I was almost through the glass doors when someone called my name. “Willa! Wait!” Dr. Ellison was hurrying toward me, his white coat slipping off one shoulder. My smile disappeared. “Is something wrong with my results?” “No, no. Your results are fine.” He glanced toward the reception desk, then pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket. “I’ve been debating whether to tell you this,” he said quietly. “But after what happened today, you deserve to know the truth about your family.”…⬇⬇⬇ See less
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